How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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Shit!

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Lil' Wayne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops