What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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What just hit my face? The floor

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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