What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A guy trips a blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock? Who's there? Dr. Fishbourne Dr. Fishbourne? Yea, I've come to inform you that your son has committed suicide due to lack of parental care and love.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops