dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Guess What! HI!

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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.....Carrot Top....

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what did the ginger say to the other ginger? I dont now i dont speak GINGER!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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