Whats red and smells like blue paint? Nothing really

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A giant watermelon falls on a man He's dead

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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What happens to a warehouse on a full moon? Nothing

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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mc hammers income.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops