Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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Women.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Ask the starving African.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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What sauce do chicken's hate? Bone suckin' sauce

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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