Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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A small boy called peter got stuck up a tree, a man walks past and said "how did you get up there?" peter replies "i fell"

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Why can't Helen Keller hear or talk straight? Because she's dead

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Nickelback

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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