How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

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Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Small titties.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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k

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Hummer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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WTF BOOOOOM

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You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Q:"Wanna Here a Joke?" A:"Yea Sure" Q:"Why can't Stevie Wonder read?" A:"Umm....because he's blind?" Q:"No, because he's black."

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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