A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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sweaty black guy

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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What do you call a fridge? Dorothy.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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