Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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why did the mother beat the young boy? Because he was adopted

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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