Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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Frown is a four letter word.

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car!

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

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NEVER

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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Come in

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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