Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

suck my a s s i hate mother f u c k e r s in my mother f u c k i n g crib

Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

Boy: Doctor! Doctor! I can't see my arm! Doctor: It's because your blind son

"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

who farted? umm........that guy.

My mom's dead

Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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