What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Man U

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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