Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is both bold and brash? Fox

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was the black guy that was smoking weed in his car not sent to jail? when the cop pulled him over he thought he was black the way he was dancing but turned out to be white but that just looked black when hes dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Chinese man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +6

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops