What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Albino African Americans

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops