what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How many jewish people can you fit in a Volkswagen? depending on the class of car but a mid range SUV can seat up to seven.

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What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

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Please don't shoot me

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A midget walked under a bar.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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What do you call it when a plane crashes into a school? A terrible accident.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops