Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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Question: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Answer: Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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hi

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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roses are red violets are indigo

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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