I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

you...

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

#Hanging Degus

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Samraj.

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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