Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops