What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What happens if a girl punches a guy? A white man in prison, convicted of sexual assault.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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