Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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equality for women

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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