Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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2 guys walk into a bar, a third guy carefully ducks under it

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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