how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg is the same.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the golfer take an extra pair of pants to the golf course? In case they ripped and he needed a replacement.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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why did the blond stare at a carton of orange juice for 2 hours? because she was reading the nutrition list, and she is a slow and patient reader.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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