What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Praise Paisley

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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