Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Whats the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? In crucifixion you throw out the whole Jew.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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