A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why couldn't the black man swim? Both of his legs were just eaten by a shark.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

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i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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