Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Q; How did the blind man cross the road? A; very unsuccessfully leaving behind memories of his joys but soon forgotten smile

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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What's city is in New York New York City

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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I woke up today

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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