Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

The WNBA is on the cooking channel

What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

Women deserve equal rights.

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

penus

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

general tso's broccoli

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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