- Anti Joke

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? I lost my tractor!

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

Why is chad so gay? Its his choice.

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

Your mam is so fat.

This joke is funny

Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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