It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Whats as flat as a pancake and alive Ya nan being flattened by a truck on the motorway

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Jellybeans

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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