A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Women's Rights

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

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There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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