Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops