Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is chewy and tastes like gum? Chewing gum.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did david give back? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops