At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

69 :)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

No, Trinidad.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops