Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

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if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Well, there's one way...

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops