What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Hey, austin, what are you doing?

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No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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