what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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