Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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Who is it?

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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An irish man walks out of a bar

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your period is red your waffle is blue find a way to fix it or no sex for you!

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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Kys

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops