Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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Wanna hear a joke......... your moms face !!

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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National security?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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