A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

its funny cuz i laughed!

What's worse than getting an F on your paper? Walking in on a man wearing your mother's skin after vigorously raping her in front of your baby sister.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

Why do women wear deodorant and makeup? Because they're ugly and they stink.

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

Why did the black man go to church? Because his father died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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