What did Adam say when he saw Eve with just a fig leaf? The recipe said three frikkin figs.what the hell am I going to do with a fig leaf, you better get back in there, and hurry because I'm double parked. I was referring to Eastend married couple Adam and Eve Turner, in case there was any confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If someone tells you to look behind you do you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i have two hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you turn a frown upside down? You cannot do such a thing because frowning is the act of sadness. Therefore you cannot nor should not change a persons attitude.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops