I dont hate you Lets just say if you were on fire and i had water id drink it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does an emu an a kiwi have in common? Both are flightless birds endemic to there own countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What color is red paint? Red

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

9

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the black kid get for his birthday?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops