A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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Yo mama so fat, her whole family is encouraging her to exercise and go on a diet.

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Billy and Jeff wanted to go on an adventure so they planned a safari in Africa. Everything was going as planned until they were in a sticky situation: whether to cross a narrow bridge above the crocodiles or not. Billy tells Jeff "Hey whats the worst thing that can happen?" Jeff was diagnosed with cancer and died the next morning.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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What kind of shots I'd John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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Your Mom The End.

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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shut up iggy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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