A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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i have to pee out my ass.

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mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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what did the shark do when he died.....

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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The person below me is weird.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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I agree

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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