Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops