Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My friend harris is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops