What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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i drive all the time its no big deal open the door and get behind the wheel

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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Bumsniffer

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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Not a joke.

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What is the difference between baldness and boldness? The second letter.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops