What's tan, red, black and brown? Your face. Two days later... In the mausoleum. "Your face"

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

Q: What did the Mexican kid get for Christmas? A: My bike.

What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

what do u call a black man a black man

Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

what time is it? 3:16

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

Bean.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

What I have learned about the Japanese studying video games and anime (read below for more, better studies): Student at school: USING PENN TO TYPU! USING PEN TO TYPU! Teacher: No Susaki San! You must onry yell the name of attakus! You suspension get! Student: JOSH! I CHARRENGE YOU TO MORTAR KOMBAT! Teacher: KAAAAAAAAMEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEE! Student: FINAL FRAAAAAAASH! Student and teacher: Locked into energy wave combat for several hours. Teacher: Puh... Lets rather settle this with a round of Shaolin Soccer... Student: VICTOLY! Me: Well I saw a disturbing lot of Japanese people cosplay dressed as zangief... Skinny guys with fake chesthair and red hair that kept posing with their (nonexistent) muscles and yelling RED CYCRONE! Wanting me to take pictures of them... And Japanese lolitas, and blonde girls called Ganguro... Weirdest trip ever... They also kept Looking at Emanuel my (black) friend, and assumed he was my servant... Conclusion: My real trip to Japan was not so different from my above example as one might think...

What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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