Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

thumb_up thumb_down -44

mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

There are two types of people in the world: humans

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to ask his wife not to leave her clothing around the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Knock, knock (No one was home)

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +51

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops