what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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she wasn't 18

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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a man walks into a bar....... thats it.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you get when you mix tea and sugar? sweet tea...

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops